Today's soundtrack is a beautiful tune off of John Mayer's latest album, it's called Edge of Desire.
"...there I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me."
A day of golf was never my idea of a fun day, but I decided to give it a chance for Jarret’s sake. He really seemed to be into it and I was okay with the plan as long as he was involved in it. What did it hurt to try and like it? However my thoughts weren’t totally assured as I stood in the golf shop looking around at some of the other people milling around in expensive looking golf clothing, totally looking the part. I looked down at my ripped jean shorts, patterned tank-top and ratty old sneakers. I felt like I hadn’t gotten the dress code memo. Even the lady at the front desk gave me a little disdained look as Jarret paid our fee for the day.
“Would have been nice to tell me that white capri pants and a bright polo shirt was the accepted golfing attire,” I grumbled while we stepped out of the store and into the bright sunlight.
“What are you talking about?” Jarret laughed while throwing my rental golf clubs on his shoulder and dragging his own set with his other free hand.
“Well after seeing what the other people were wearing, I’m afraid I don’t really look the part and I’m fairly sure the lady at the desk thought I was your caddy…”
“There is no dress code here and besides, I think you look totally hot in what you are wearing,” he smiled with a wink, allowing his to graze down to my subtle cleavage.
I smiled back and laughed, but inside the little voice in my head that yelled at me last night when Jay and I were doing the deed, came back again, a little louder this time. You two are too different and this will never work.
The day turned into a beautiful one and even though I found myself very frustrated at times by having to constantly search for my ball, I did have a nice time laughing and spending time with Jay. We really did have a connection and it was nice to be with someone that I didn’t feel I had to spend time with because we worked together, even though there were still times I felt as though he was still the unobtainable knight in shining armor.
“Just relax your whole body,” he whispered, sending shivers down my spine as he stood behind me, wrapped around me as we stood at the 9th- hole. I was becoming very flustered and it was beginning to show, so Jarret decided to go ahead and give me the old golfing instruction gig.
“This is totally cliché,” I laughed, bending over and totally pushing my butt into his crotch without thinking about it until I felt him instantly get hard. “And it’s totally turning you on,” I continued laughing while I gave my butt a little wiggle before standing upright once again.
“I was trying to be serious,” he laughed.
“I really don’t have the patience for this,” I sighed, leaning my head back onto his chest, his face casting the perfect shadow over my face from the sun. “Mini-golf is definitely more up my alley…”
“So are you saying you’re done?”
“That’s alright,” he said, sounding a little sad, but when I looked up at him his grey eyes were still smiling.
I knew she wasn’t enjoying it much; it was obvious she was annoyed that she sucked at it. Just like anything else in life, when you become frustrated with something you aren’t good at, it’s just hard to find any pleasure in it. I was becoming slightly annoyed with it too because frankly I couldn’t enjoy playing like I normally do. So I figured it was time to call it a day on the golf course.
We ended up doing a little shopping because there were a few things that Beth wanted that she was unable to purchase in Kamsack. After we secured everything in my SUV, we went for lunch at a quaint café that frankly was a surprise in the prairie town.
I think one of the reasons I enjoyed Beth’s company was because she seemed to be so naïve about the world. Every time we talked about my life or LA, her eyes were always big with surprise and wonder. I knew I had to get her to LA before it was time for me to return there for the season. She deserved to see it and I hoped that by taking her there, it would be easier to persuade her to move there with me at some point.
Alright, so we aren’t even officially in a relationship, but I have never been known to move slowly into situations. I knew Beth and I had a connection and I was all for making it known to her.
“I can’t imagine walking down the red carpet for a movie premier!” I exclaimed as we sat at a small café right next to the golf course, eating lunch.
“It’s not as glamorous as you may think,” he laughed easily. “People wear a lot of fake smiles and I constantly feel like I need to wear one when I’m around them. It gets old.”
“Oh,” I said a little sad that the picture I had painted in my head while reading all the People magazines over the years was skewed.
“But we can go to one when you come to LA,” he continued.
“Me, go to LA?” I asked, suddenly looking up from my plate to stare at him skeptically.
“Sure, why not?”
“I would never fit in there.”
“You would fit in anywhere.”
I just shook my head back and forth and took a bite of my sandwich.
“Well, why don’t we find out?” Jarret mused as he sat back in his chair and flashed me that smile that made me melt every time.
“What do you mean?”
“Come with me to LA next weekend. I have some things to take care of, so you can check out my place and we can do some of the touristy things.”
I bit my lip as my eyes grew large. “Um, I don’t know. I really don’t have money for a plane ticket and I’d have to find a switch for work…”
He instantly began shaking his head and holding up his hand to tell me to stop speaking. “I will be paying for the ticket and I’m sure you could sweet talk someone into switching with you,” he chuckled.
“I could never let you pay for my ticket, I mean we aren’t even officially together,” I protested.
He reached across the table at this point and took my hands into his and gave me a look that I could have sworn Jack gave me the other morning when I woke up in his arms. “I want this to be more than a fling, Beth.”
I laughed nervously and shook my head. “Jay, you are out of your mind.”
“You are going back to your real life in a little over a month and I will still be here in my life,” I stated plainly. Of course I felt my heart flutter a bit when he said the words, but I was a realist and no matter how good in bed we were together, I knew it wouldn’t go father than that. I did surprise myself a bit when I heard the words come from my mouth, but it was obvious I had thought about the subject more than once.
“You could always move to LA with me,” he said calmly.
My eyes probably grew to be the size of grapefruits as I choked on the beer I was drinking. After I was done with my coughing spell I looked over at him and stuttered, “A-are your crazy?!”
He flashed his laid back smile and shrugged his shoulders. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Oh, I think you are.”
“Come on Beth, you can’t tell me you haven’t dreamed about getting out of here and moving on…”
“Well sure, what person hasn’t? But honestly, I’m not quite sure you realize how important my job is to me.”
“I know you love it, but I’m sure you could get a job as a medic in LA or even a job at the hospital if you feel you have to have a job,” he spoke like it was no big deal. “Just come with me to LA for the weekend, seriously Beth, it’s not like you need to make a decision this minute. I was just throwing ideas out there for you,” he chuckled.
I didn’t really see much humor in it at all, instead I found myself becoming slightly annoyed. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked Jarret, but it bothered me how he seemed to be moving rather quickly and just assuming things. Never mind the fact that I am probably one of the most independent women on the planet and feeling like a caged animal was not at all something I enjoyed.
“Are you ready to head back?” he asked quietly, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked over to find him with a furrowed brow and seemingly worried. Before I could answer he spoke. “Beth, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound pushy or seem like I’m just assuming things.” He paused and sighed. “I just wanted you to know that I am serious about making this more than a fling with you and that I’m really serious about you.”
The tone of his voice and words instantly soothed my mind, leaving me no other choice but to genuinely smile back at him and nod my head to accept his apology. I too wanted this to work even though at the moment, I had no clue how.
“Jack, you and Liz gotta get in here! We have a little girl lost out in the woods...” Doug yelled excitedly into the phone. “I think we need Bruno too.”
“Alright, I’ll call Liz,” I grumbled into the phone, just getting out of the shower. Too bad I didn’t even know where Liz was. I had actually spent the whole day over at her house, fixing her roof. I had list of things I wanted to finish up before leaving for
and fixing up Liz’s house was one of them. Liz never asked me to do it, but I felt she would never get it done if I didn’t do it. When I stopped by to drop off something with Elsie, she said that Lizzie and Jarret were down in Saskatoon , golfing. Yorkton
“Liz?! Golfing?! You’ve got to be kidding me!” I snorted as I loaded some of the left-over shingles Elsie had sitting in her garage from when I put a new roof on her house.
“I told you her and Jarret were the perfect match,” the old woman announced with a big grin.
I laughed ironically, “Perfect together when she has to act like a different woman around him? Yeah, totally sounds perfect.”
“I heard your sarcasm, don’t mock an old woman.”
“Don’t be blind, Elsie. Come one. Since when have you known Liz to play dress up or go play golf? She only started doing those things when Jarret came to town. If she has to be a different person for him to love her, then he doesn’t deserve her,” I grunted as I dropped another load of shingles in the back of my truck.
“Well, I don’t see you fighting for her,” Elsie snapped back as she stood on her porch with her hands on her hips.
“I told her how I felt,” I growled.
“And just because she can’t make an instant decision, you give up and move away.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I turned away, cursing Rick for letting the cat out of the bag.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Why else would you be over here getting shingles to repair her house?! You’re planning on running away. You hit adversity and instead of fighting for her, you run away. You did it when you lost your fiancé and now you’re doing it with Liz.”
Elsie was lucky she was a frail old woman, because I really just wanted to punch her. She was the only one in this town that knew about Sarah, my late fiancé who fell in a climbing accident. She was the reason I left
and moved to Kamsack. Elsie of course was the only one who knew this fact, not even Liz knew. “I’m not running away,” I gritted through my teeth. Saskatoon
“What do you care, Elsie?! Don’t you see this as a victory in your book?! I’m fairly sure you said on the way home from
that you wanted Liz and Jarret to be together.” Saskatoon
“I do want them together, but I also want the best for Lizzie and I was hoping you’d finally step up to the plate and show that you are just that. Come on Jack, if you don’t know by now how I like to ruffle feathers, then you aren’t that smart,” Elsie said, shaking her head.
Her words were still echoing through my head as I hit send on my phone to call Liz.
“Hey Jack-a-roo,” she crooned happily into the phone, sounding slightly breathless.
“Where are you?” I asked, sounding a little more rough than I wanted to, but we had a job to do and I was already in that emergency mode. “Are you home yet?”
“I’m back in Kamsack if that is what you are inquiring. What’s wrong Jack?” she asked, instantly catching my drift that something was up.
“We have a missing kid at the park. Doug is gathering the volunteers as we speak.”
“Okay, I’m out for a walk right now, but I’ll be back at my house in 5 minutes,” she said quickly and I could tell she had already begun jogging.
“Alright, I’ll be over in 10 to pick you up,” I said, hitting the end button before even saying goodbye.
Despite not being surprised to find him there, I was still slightly annoyed to find him pacing around in the front yard in his designer white shorts and black polo shirt.
“Hey Jack!” he said, jutting out his hand for me to shake. I nodded politely and shook it before walking past him and towards the front door of Liz’s house. “I’m going to be coming along to help with the search,” he called out to me.
I instantly stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow. “You might ruin your white shorts,” I growled.
He looked down at his clothing, like he forgot what he was wearing and then shrugged as he looked back up at me. “Wouldn’t be the first pair that got ruined; I want to help.”
“Whatever.” I had my hand on the door knob of Liz’s brand new screen-door that I had installed just a few hours prior when I felt Jarret’s hand on my shoulder. I turned and look at him. “What?”
“I know you don’t like me and I’m fairly sure why, but I just wanted to say that I would never hurt her and I promise to take good care of her.”
I almost laughed at him, but the sincerity in his tone of voice and face stopped me. It wasn’t like I was afraid he’d punch me. Sure, he was a big-shot hockey player, but we were both built and I knew I could hold my own against him. Besides, what self respecting man wears white shorts?! So instead I just said, “You’ll never love her the way I do.” Before he was able to say anything I turned back around and opened the door, almost bowling over Liz over in the process.
She had a mixture of a frown and smile on her face, so I knew she had heard our conversation. “Are we ready to play nice boys?” she chirped as she pushed past both of us. “We have a job to do.”
Jarret and me both tossed a glare back and forth at each other and nodded silently.
As soon as she told me why she had suddenly begun jogging back towards her house, I instantly informed her that I would go along to help. For starters I didn’t have anything better to do and second, I was anxious to see Beth in her own environment. I had been intrigued by her career choice since day one, and what better way to understand her passion for it than to see her in action.
I knew instantly when seeing Jack’s sour face that he was more than annoyed to have me tag along, but it just gave me more of a reason to go along. I didn’t have anything against the guy, but his attitude pissed me off and it annoyed me how he seemed to toy with Beth’s emotions. She hung on his every word and I knew how upset he made her the week or two after I arrived here. I guess being her partner, he had learned to become very protective of her, but I wanted to prove to him that he was not the only one who had come to feel like her protector.
I shouldn’t have been surprised by his comment of loving her better than me, but it did kind of throw me off course. Does she know how he feels about her? Is this why she was so mum about the camping trip? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Part of me was happy to find Beth standing on the other side of the door, but after seeing her face I felt like she was scolding both of us. Never mind the fact that we are two grown men acting like two love-struck bratty teenagers. Either way, Jack claimed his territory and declared war with his words.
As much as I wanted to think about it, there was a bigger problem on our hands at the moment. Somewhere out in the darkening wood was a little lost boy that we had to find. When we arrived at the park entrance, we were briefed along with the volunteers that had showed up. I was surprised to find that almost half the town was there to help, but then again it was the small town mentality that everyone helps everyone.
After a debriefing, we quickly set out, combing the area. The little boy’s name was Ryan and he was last seen a few hours ago, wandering around his family’s campsite. His mother went inside for a moment and when she came back out from the tent, he was nowhere to be found. After the family searched on their own for a bit, they called for help.
Beth explained that families should call immediately, because it makes our job that much harder. Families become upset which tends to get them confused on the possible travel direction of the lost child and sometimes even they end up getting lost, making an even bigger problem for the rescuers.
“Do you want me to carry that pack?” I asked as Beth slung a heavy looking back-pack over her shoulder.
She looked up at me and gave me a look that said, “Are you kidding me?”
I laughed and apologized. “Sorry, I’m not used to a tough chick.”
She smiled and nodded. “Just don’t forget again,” she joked before giving me a wink and walked away to meet up with Jack and the rest of the guys from the squad.
“So how is that I come home and find my roof fixed and new screen doors attached to my house?” I asked, amused as I walked over to Jack to fell into step with him.
He looked down at me with the wicked, adoring smile I had come to love over the years while he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I owe you.”
“You owe me nothing. You’re my friend and you needed it done, I had free-time so I figured why not,” he said, looking straight ahead.
“Whatever Jack. I still owe you.”
“Fine, then come over to my house and have dinner with me tomorrow evening,” he looked over at me with soft eyes.
“How is that paying you back?” I asked nervously, feeling the butterflies beginning to build from the combination of the look in his eyes and the thought of being alone with him in his house. It wasn’t like I spent enough times over there, but after what happened on the camping trip and the little declaration he made on my front porch tonight, I found myself in a state of spinning confusion.
Before he answered me, Rick pulled us back to the task at hand by barking out orders and soon the search began.